I see blessings all around... at the start of my day I got an email that a friend of mine lost her father. My heart felt broken for her and then I saw a post that she was thankful that he was finally at peace with no pain. I think what a blessing that she can see that even though I am so postive that her heart is so broken. A long time ago over dinner she told me she could not even imagine losing her parents- and years later her she is... I pray for her tonight.
Another friend blessed with a new baby this week. I am so excited to see him and hold him in my arms. The memories of the first days of Matthew seem to be a bit blurred but that feeling of a new baby in your arms- magical!
The steeple for our church's new addition goes up on Friday and I think of many of lives that building will impact. The babies baptized there, the weddings, the funerals, the prayers, the every day sundays.
My baby sleeps in his room after snuggling with daddy tonight. I think he is our biggest blessing each day. Just a constant reminder that life is so much more than the extra ordinary- it is just about making ech day count.
Something in the past year - maybe Matthew- or maybe coming with age... or an economy that has pushed my husband and I to work more than in the past- is teaching me to remember that we are always learning to love- big and small.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I have some excerpts from the journal I have been keeping for my son...sounds like a good place to start.
This one is from February 6th, 2010
It is around 4 am something and you cry. You don’t stop and I worry in light of the recent stomach illness you had. I go into your nursery and your cries fill the air. I change you and check you over and nothing- not sure why the cries. I swaddle us in a blanket and we cuddle close on the chair. Sophie comes to see what it wrong- like she always does. She finds a way to top her furry little self right on the top of our swaddle sundae- just like a cherry on top. You cry and I rock you and suddenly you stop. All I can hear is the hum of the humidifier and then the lullabies in my head. I am overwhelmed by the feeling of love- just pure love found so simply in the way I hold you and suddenly your hand strokes my face and the love is returned just as it will be during your life I softly promise to you. I worry that your stretch of 12 hours of rest might be over and I think about my tired head at work and I push those thoughts past and enter the moment and feel the love that just pure love. Again you touch my shoulder and I know you just needed me. Matthew I will be here for you- I whisper the promise. At this point sophie’s licking is starting to make you giggle- so the cherry on our swaddle sundae must roll off and she slowly sets to the floor near us. I lay you back in your crib and you settle into the center and you hands quickly find a spot to ease yourself back into rest. I maybe tired in the morning – but the stroke of your little fingers on my face- another memory to keep in my heart.
This one is from February 6th, 2010
It is around 4 am something and you cry. You don’t stop and I worry in light of the recent stomach illness you had. I go into your nursery and your cries fill the air. I change you and check you over and nothing- not sure why the cries. I swaddle us in a blanket and we cuddle close on the chair. Sophie comes to see what it wrong- like she always does. She finds a way to top her furry little self right on the top of our swaddle sundae- just like a cherry on top. You cry and I rock you and suddenly you stop. All I can hear is the hum of the humidifier and then the lullabies in my head. I am overwhelmed by the feeling of love- just pure love found so simply in the way I hold you and suddenly your hand strokes my face and the love is returned just as it will be during your life I softly promise to you. I worry that your stretch of 12 hours of rest might be over and I think about my tired head at work and I push those thoughts past and enter the moment and feel the love that just pure love. Again you touch my shoulder and I know you just needed me. Matthew I will be here for you- I whisper the promise. At this point sophie’s licking is starting to make you giggle- so the cherry on our swaddle sundae must roll off and she slowly sets to the floor near us. I lay you back in your crib and you settle into the center and you hands quickly find a spot to ease yourself back into rest. I maybe tired in the morning – but the stroke of your little fingers on my face- another memory to keep in my heart.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
My Start
Well... here is goes. I finally settled on a name for this my new - well only blog. Writing makes me so happy and I have so many words that fill my soul and lately they are spilling out of me. I am not exactly sure where to start... there is so much to say, but it will come. All these words will eventually spill out and probably over. I sit here in the quiet- while my son, 9 months, sleeps, my husband decompresses over a treadmill run and my little dog is somewhere and I am positive she is curled up, sleepy. My eyes are tired and the long day is coming to a close. I promise to pour the words out of me... just not tonight.
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